mechanicalmouse: (minions)
mechanicalmouse ([personal profile] mechanicalmouse) wrote2007-10-30 10:03 pm
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Gear 27

LISTEN UP CITY, MOUSEY MOUSE HAS A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE ♥

Wedding =/= Legal Marriage

Legal Marriage = So~cia~l Be~ne~fi~ts

If you want to receive benefits you MUST fill out Form BMOYL-69 which you can request at our fabulous Office Building! We know what you're thinking:

YES you can marry your One True Love
YES you can marry your Gender of Calling
YES you can marry between religions
YES you can marry between species
YES you can marry because she's pregnant
YES you can marry just for the money
YES you can marry more than one person

BENEFITS ARE AS FOLLOWS
5% off the fine for getting caught fornicating in a public space
5% off the fine for getting caught fornicating on public transportation
10% off the price of vasectomies at City General
10% off the price of tubal ligations at City General
FREE conjugal visits to a spouse in the prison
5% off safety and contraceptives during conjugal visits (mandatory)

Not to mention joint taxes on property and income and yadda yadda bo~ri~ng...!

TO THE POLYGAMOUS POLYAMOROUS THE GREEDY, NO YOU CANNOT COMBINE DISCOUNTS PER SPOUSE

AMENDMENT
DIVORCE BENEFITS: the freedom of being released from your marital chains
10% off usage of Xanadu to divide and conquer your affects (15% if bloodstains are minimal)

Case closed!

Thanks a lot, Chicken Hawk for blowing the lid on our operation. Inside trading tips, now.

[ooc: Yes it's for the lulz. Characters can godmod forms or flail about having to fill them out ♥]
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[identity profile] toonurturing.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Miss Mouse~

Marriage is so lovely...

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
Only when the ring is sparkly!

[identity profile] evilsincebirth.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
What about the divorces?

[identity profile] under-secretary.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
I'll send them to your office.

[identity profile] toonurturing.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
I meant the true love part...

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
There's a fine for fucking in public?

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
...

I detest sharing any sentiment with you.

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
... Yes?

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
ENCOURAGED. PLEASE SEPARATE AT WILL. GENERATE REVENUE.

Le~ga~l...!

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
Don't forget yummy wedding cake...!

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
They need to define "public."

[identity profile] evilsincebirth.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
Be~ne~fits?~

[identity profile] browning-baby.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
... those are the only benefits?

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
If they go sour your firstborn's name will be Hillary.

[identity profile] browning-baby.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
Kinda what I was thinking.

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
IF YOU'RE CAUGHT. HOW DO YOU FORNICATE SO RAPIDLY WITHOUT US KNOWING!!?!?!!

Yes ♥

[identity profile] under-secretary.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Duly noted.

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
If you get caught not in your home it's public, dear.

Come now, no one wants to see you and the little boy go at it.

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
Terrible tragedy.

[identity profile] toonurturing.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
And... loving?

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
AMENDED!

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
What do you want? To make Spot the Puppy pick sides...!

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
I guess that too.

[identity profile] browning-baby.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:23 am (UTC)(link)
Psh. Just trying to decide if it's worth my time to fill out paperwork or not.

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
The same could be said of you and any man fighting not to fall in your gaping maw.

[identity profile] toonurturing.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
It's the best.

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:26 am (UTC)(link)
And it makes mo~ne~y...!

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
Now, now. I'm not so bad as everyone claims~

You fuck three or four and suddenly you're a whore~

[identity profile] toonurturing.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
... That, too.

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
It's all in your hands ♥

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
Tch, it isn't quantity, it's quality. And your lack thereof.

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:30 am (UTC)(link)
Says the faggot.

[identity profile] paracelsus-ftw.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
...now, see, Mousie? This is why ye've and ye'll be a bloody newb. Tax for marriage? Sweetheart, them's the exceptions.

You wanna make some coin? Honey, lis'n here, charge for wankin'.

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
But a discriminating faggot, which is more than can be said for the whore.

[identity profile] mechanicalmice.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
DRAFT A BILL UNCLE PAULIE. We can call it Form 5KS, the wanking license...!

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
Your taste leaves something to be desired.

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
Casting stones from your glass house?

One name: Nnoitra.

[identity profile] browning-baby.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
... now that isn't even funny.

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 11:32 am (UTC)(link)
Then we think on when I go to him.

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 02:30 pm (UTC)(link)
You think on it. Because it's the whore who swallows her distaste and spreads her legs anyway.

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Because she doesn't want to die, thank you.

Speaks to her kindness.

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Kindness? My, but you do enjoy the flavor of hypocrisy on your tongue.

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
My generosity with my family, even.

[identity profile] dark-butler.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Lies. But I expect no more of you.

Have no fear, Thunderwitch, you make it impossible to find your pitiful situation pitiable.

[identity profile] thunderwitch.livejournal.com 2007-10-31 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course.`
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