Gear 27

[mechanicalmouse]

LISTEN UP CITY, MOUSEY MOUSE HAS A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE ♥

Wedding =/= Legal Marriage

Legal Marriage = So~cia~l Be~ne~fi~ts

If you want to receive benefits you MUST fill out Form BMOYL-69 which you can request at our fabulous Office Building! We know what you're thinking:

YES you can marry your One True Love
YES you can marry your Gender of Calling
YES you can marry between religions
YES you can marry between species
YES you can marry because she's pregnant
YES you can marry just for the money
YES you can marry more than one person

BENEFITS ARE AS FOLLOWS
5% off the fine for getting caught fornicating in a public space
5% off the fine for getting caught fornicating on public transportation
10% off the price of vasectomies at City General
10% off the price of tubal ligations at City General
FREE conjugal visits to a spouse in the prison
5% off safety and contraceptives during conjugal visits (mandatory)

Not to mention joint taxes on property and income and yadda yadda bo~ri~ng...!

TO THE POLYGAMOUS POLYAMOROUS THE GREEDY, NO YOU CANNOT COMBINE DISCOUNTS PER SPOUSE

AMENDMENT
DIVORCE BENEFITS: the freedom of being released from your marital chains
10% off usage of Xanadu to divide and conquer your affects (15% if bloodstains are minimal)

Case closed!

Thanks a lot, Chicken Hawk for blowing the lid on our operation. Inside trading tips, now.

[ooc: Yes it's for the lulz. Characters can godmod forms or flail about having to fill them out ♥]

Comments

[toonurturing.livejournal.com]

Miss Mouse~

Marriage is so lovely...

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

Only when the ring is sparkly!

[toonurturing.livejournal.com]

I meant the true love part...

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

Don't forget yummy wedding cake...!

[toonurturing.livejournal.com]

And... loving?

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

I guess that too.

[toonurturing.livejournal.com]

It's the best.

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

And it makes mo~ne~y...!

[toonurturing.livejournal.com]

... That, too.

[evilsincebirth.livejournal.com]

What about the divorces?

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

ENCOURAGED. PLEASE SEPARATE AT WILL. GENERATE REVENUE.

Le~ga~l...!

[evilsincebirth.livejournal.com]

Be~ne~fits?~

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

AMENDED!

[under-secretary.livejournal.com]

I'll send them to your office.

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

If they go sour your firstborn's name will be Hillary.

[under-secretary.livejournal.com]

Duly noted.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

There's a fine for fucking in public?

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

...

I detest sharing any sentiment with you.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

... Yes?

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

They need to define "public."

[browning-baby.livejournal.com]

Kinda what I was thinking.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

If you get caught not in your home it's public, dear.

Come now, no one wants to see you and the little boy go at it.

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

The same could be said of you and any man fighting not to fall in your gaping maw.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

Now, now. I'm not so bad as everyone claims~

You fuck three or four and suddenly you're a whore~

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

Tch, it isn't quantity, it's quality. And your lack thereof.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

Says the faggot.

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

But a discriminating faggot, which is more than can be said for the whore.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

Your taste leaves something to be desired.

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

Casting stones from your glass house?

One name: Nnoitra.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

Then we think on when I go to him.

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

You think on it. Because it's the whore who swallows her distaste and spreads her legs anyway.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

Because she doesn't want to die, thank you.

Speaks to her kindness.

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

Kindness? My, but you do enjoy the flavor of hypocrisy on your tongue.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

My generosity with my family, even.

[dark-butler.livejournal.com]

Lies. But I expect no more of you.

Have no fear, Thunderwitch, you make it impossible to find your pitiful situation pitiable.

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

Of course.`

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

IF YOU'RE CAUGHT. HOW DO YOU FORNICATE SO RAPIDLY WITHOUT US KNOWING!!?!?!!

Yes ♥

[thunderwitch.livejournal.com]

Terrible tragedy.

[browning-baby.livejournal.com]

... those are the only benefits?

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

What do you want? To make Spot the Puppy pick sides...!

[browning-baby.livejournal.com]

Psh. Just trying to decide if it's worth my time to fill out paperwork or not.

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

It's all in your hands ♥

[paracelsus-ftw.livejournal.com]

...now, see, Mousie? This is why ye've and ye'll be a bloody newb. Tax for marriage? Sweetheart, them's the exceptions.

You wanna make some coin? Honey, lis'n here, charge for wankin'.

[mechanicalmice.livejournal.com]

DRAFT A BILL UNCLE PAULIE. We can call it Form 5KS, the wanking license...!

[browning-baby.livejournal.com]

... now that isn't even funny.